What would my superpower be?

ORN: Three miles in 30'13" was the best I could do today. My legs felt heavy, but I made it without taking a walking break. I saw a barge.

The Ultimate Avengers over at The Runners' Lounge challenged us to write about our coveted superpowers this week. Let's get all the obvious ones out of the way. Super-speed or super-endurance -- not interested. Why? That's cheating. If I could run as fast as the Flash, where would be the challenge? Part of the joy of running for me -- and I cannot believe I am about to write these words -- is the incremental improvements, the minor setbacks and the sudden surges forward, and the long-term but slow improvement in health. So what would I choose?

Some sort of molecular molting would be good. [I know that's not what Dr. Manhattan is doing here, but that's what I imagine it would look like.] What I mean is the ability, at the end of a run, to instantly shed all the sweat and stink. You know how a star goes nova and sheds off its outermost layers of gas? Same thing. Add to this some sort of metabolic control so that when I stop running, I stop sweating. Often, I will sweat for 15-20 minutes after I stop, even after I shower. Ick.

Mutant healing factor would be awesome. Instead of waking up with sore feet for two or three days after a long run, or a wonky knee, how about instant healing? No more ice packs! No more taking a week off to recover! That would be the BOMB!

Having the ability to shape-shift would be handy now and then. Especially when I'm 35% into a long run, deep in the heart of Suburbia, and suddenly find myself in need of a men's room. And I'm not talking about onesies. It never fails. Three miles in, and I have to drop a doozie of a twosie. 'Twould be nice to be able to shape-shift into a dog or deer or something, make brownies, and then resume my run in human form refreshed and hauling a little less mass. Bonus: animals don't need TP!

Probably the ultimate superpower would be to be Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man. I mean, he's an ultra-billionaire. If he wants a new long-sleeve technical shirt or a new pair of sneakers, he gets them. Or a dozen of them. If he wants a Garmin 405, Pepper Potts will bring him one on a silk pillow with a scotch chaser. Or better yet, he will have a fleet of satellites scan his body during his run and gather metrics on every conceivable piece of data, slice-and-dice it a hundred different ways, and put it on a gigantic plasma screen so Tony can review his performance in the shower. Oh, and I bet he would have a programmable pace-robot to run with. Yes, I am a nerd. But if I was Tony Stark, I would be a nerd with a limitless expense account.

Excelsior!