The look I'm aiming for is freakishly huge

I'm sure you had an image in your mind of what I must look like in real life. Probably something along the lines of this guy to the left. Sorry to disillusion you, but my physique is more like a flabby stick person than berzerker. My body is put together like your average twiggy nerd-boy with a sweater-vest made out of cottage cheese. My body stores fat around my torso like the bready part of a pig-in-a-blanket.  I've got these skinny arms and skinny legs and then all this blubber up top.  So, obviously, I need to do some upper body work. 

The problem is that I never stick with a weight/core training plan. I just run, and even then, I sometimes fail to do that consistently. There was several-week period when I did the 100-push-up challenge.  I made it to the fifth week or so, faithfully building up to 100 push-ups, and then I missed a couple days and lost the momentum. For a while, I made a commitment to myself to do crunches on my balance ball every time I went into the basement [where spiders build webs on my workout gear.]  I did that faithfully for about a week  until I ran down to get a load of jeans out of the dryer or something and forgot. Then I kept on forgetting.

Kettle-bells drew me in for a few reasons. First off, they are manly as hell. "Imagine a cannonball with a handle." After a few weeks of chucking this bastard around, I expect to be eating bottles of beer -- caps and all -- and communicating only through punching and grunting.  Second, I don't feel like a dork doing it. Nearly every other kind of exercise you can mention, including running, makes me feel self-conscious. I don't know who I think would walk in and make fun of me for doing push-ups or whatever, but I know they'd think twice if they saw me swinging around a 20-pound steel ball. But the most important reason is that all the exercises are complex, functional movements that work a combination of muscles rather than isolating targeted muscles. That makes more sense to me. Bicep curls are no good to me if I can't move a couch when I need to.

How do I expect to succeed with the 'bells when all my other strength training plans have failed? What will I do different to make sure I do it? I'm fishing for ideas, people. Help! Meanwhile, I'll tape this dude to my monitor as a visual cue.

What's Runners' World Thinking? [July 2010]

I'm still not running.  My excuse for yesterday was a case of the Ohio Valley crud -- seasonal allergies.  My excuses for today are a lack of sleep and a sore back.  Instead of going on at length about my complaints, I thought I would start a new feature called What's Runners' World Thinking?  In this feature, which will run approximately whenever I think about it, I will discuss something I read about in Runners' World.  Maybe I tried it and liked it; maybe I would never try it in a million years; maybe I just thought it was boring.  You, the reader, get the thrill of a lifetime reading whatever I come up with.

In this month's RW, Ted Spiker published Quick Fix, a 7-minute warm-up plan. I tried this workout a couple times, once, even, with my daughter.  On the whole, it's a fine warm-up routine, and I like that it [supposedly] takes only seven minutes.  For me, it took more like 20 because I kept falling over.  That's because this routine takes balance, and I am not well-coordinated.  In fact, I often go out in public wearing two or three different plaid patterns. Uncoordinated. Let's break it down, shall we?

• Exercise 1 is a reverse lunge.  We all know what lunges are, right?  Try doing it backwards.  This made me fall down.  I also tripped over things and almost fell down.  Lunges are hard enough for me, since they require a degree of balance; doing them in reverse is a recipe for head trauma.  Verdict: suck.
• Exercise 2 are single leg hops.  You hop on one foot making a square pattern on the floor.  This made me fall down.  Are you seeing a trend?  Balance issues aside, this exercise does wonders for the leg.  I can see the value right away, and I think I will continue to do these.  Verdict: meh.
• Exercise 3 is a single leg reach.  This is like reaching down to pick something up off the floor and letting one leg fly up all fancy-like, like I'm a flabby, clumsy ballet dancer.  I found this one to be easy.  I think I could do this all day long, though I don't know what the benefit would be except as a comedy routine. Verdict: goofy.
• Exercise 4 is a plank with alternate leg lifts.  Planks suck so much.  I don't like them.  My arms get all shaky, and I breathe hard. I work much too hard for what I'm doing -- supporting my body weight.  Add leg lifts, and the suckage increases.  However, I totally see the value.  I could tell I was working my core from my ribs right down to my butt.  Verdict: OK but you won't make me like it.
• Exercise 5 is a Y squat.  This is merely a squat with your hands making a Y, like you are doing the YMCA dance.  Why the Y?  I assume to make the RW editors laugh.  Maybe it engages your trunk more.  Balance was more of a factor that it might have been if my hands were on my hips.  My daughter loved these.  She does them all the time now, except she can squat down until her butt hits the floor.  If I did that, all my innards would fall out.  Verdict:  OK, especially if you are seven years old.

The stated purpose of this workout is to warm up the body before a run, but I never warm up.  I just start my watch and go.  But the article also said you could do this as a standalone workout for strength training, which is what I plan to do with it.  The common thread throughout these exercises seems to be strengthening the core and improving balance with a lesser emphasis on strengthening the legs.  I need these things like crazy, so I will try to work this into my weekly regimen.

Soreness, I haz it

OK, so maybe rest and recovery are good things.  After doing all those squats and lunges on Monday and running four miles on Tuesday, I spent Wednesday walking around like some 1950s b-movie robot.  My hamstrings are not accustomed to being misused in that way.  Therefore, yesterday, I blew off cross training, and today I'm taking it easy too.  I may run later this evening, but just an easy three or something.  Nothing hard.  My legs still need babying, it seems.

Hey fellow bloggers, do you want some free Ugg boots?  If not for yourself, perhaps for a Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus present?  Go to this website and enter for a chance to win a free pair.  This site looks legit [read: they paid me], so enter and spread the word. 

[79] Swimming++; Running--;

ORN:  Today, I ran 6.2 miles in 58'20".  There was a three-mile tempo run in there, which I did OK on.  My splits for the tempo bit were off-target but still good [for me] -- 8'54", 8'46", and 8'37" -- just not good enough for the FIRST plan.  Still, I ran negative splits in hills.  Go me.

 

Last night, I swam 46 laps in some new hella fast swim trunks.  My usual trunks are these long bloomers with big pockets, which are great around the pool and at the beach.  However, when I am swimming laps, they act like a sea anchor.  These new trunks are square-legged and about as modest as these things come.  It's not a banana hammock, nor are they like thigh-length biker shorts.  Still, solid black and with extra fabric in all the right places, they are excellent at obscuring my shameful parts.  Nevertheless, I feel like a total whale wearing them.  I think if there is a fire at the YMCA, and I am in the pool with them on, I will take my chances with fiery, boiling death rather than be seen outside.  ["Local man survives a fire at the YMCA, but scars dozens of children for life with his pasty beer belly and nonexistent boy-parts.  Film at 11."]  As it was, I wore my regular trunks over them to cover my mortification until the last possible moment.  After dropping Little One off at her final swim lesson of the summer, I moseyed over to the lap pool, stripped down to my black beauties, and slipped into the water as self-consciously as if I were painted magenta.

 

Wardrobe aside, my swimming is getting better; I am still far from a strong swimmer.  I can do one and a half or two lengths, free-style, before becoming so winded that I switch to breast stroke.  Yet that's an improvement.  If I could just learn to relax and breathe properly, then I would have a much easier time.  When I have my face down in the water, and I'm swimming, something in my mind screams that I am not getting enough oxygen and I freak.  One huge inhalation isn't enough.  I have to suck down two or three breaths per couple strokes or I'll just die, or so I think.  This is a mental problem more than a physical one, I think.  I'm going to have to figure it out.

 

On Saturday, I was supposed to do 20 miles, but I fell far short of the mark.  I was camping near Rough River at the North Fork campground, and that place is crap for hiking and running.  Rough River, I have decided, is a resort for boaters exclusively.  There are no serious trails, and the roads are dangerously narrow, without shoulders, unsafe for distance running.  So I ran around the campground four or five times.  This made for a fantastic hill workout, but man, was it boring.  The loop I fashioned was about 1.1 - 1.25 miles and encompassed every loop, cul de sac, boat ramp, and parking lot I could safely access, employing State Road 79 as little as possible.  The prospect of doing 20 miles this way grew more and more depressing as I loped along.  I only squeaked out 5.6 miles or so before quitting in total frustration.  I'm so behind in my training.

 

Review: AIM MyTach GPS Sport Trainer

ORN: { } Cross training day! I did 20 minutes on the elliptical machine followed by 20 minutes of calisthenics. Freya, I am sore.

---

The fine folks at AIM sent me their MyTach GPS Sport Trainer to check out, and being a bit of a gadget lover, I was anxious to use it. Just by perusing the information available online, I knew there were lots of features, though nothing as shiny as the Garmin 405. I didn't expect to be dazzled. Sadly, I cannot recommend it. In fact, after only one run, I may not use it again except for hiking. Maybe.

First impressions

Upon unboxing, the first thing I scanned was their user manual. AIM is an Italian company, and the wrist unit documentation was full of awkward, clunky translations and a couple untranslated words. In fact, the client software documentation [a separate download] seemed to have been written by the Italian mathematicians and software engineers without much of an editorial review by a native English speaker. Hard to read on two levels -- too technical and mistranslated. This has little to do with how the tool performs its intended function, but it's a sloppy oversight. A little more attention-to-detail in the next release would help tremendously.

In fact, I would say that the major chord running through my opinion of this product is that more time should have been spent in user experience testing. It's like the engineers threw it all together and started shipping it. Maybe that's why they sent me one. They figured a nerd like me would recognize its functional power and ignore its numerous other non-technical shortcomings.

Aesthetically speaking, this thing is fat and ugly. No way around it. The wrist unit is entirely devoid so-called sleek European styling. A supermodel in Milan would need a crane to sashay this thing down the catwalk. Imagine a block of plastic 2 inches [5 cm] wide, 2.5 inches [6.5 cm] long, and about 3/4ths of an inch [1.8 cm] thick. It's like running with a calculator strapped to your arm but without the cool factor. After doing a little Google research, I guess it's not that much bigger than a Garmin 305. I mean, Io is not much bigger than Europa, but you're not going to fit either in the trunk of your car. What I am saying is you aren't going to wear this watch in public without hearing a lot of Dick Tracy jokes. The good thing about it is that you cannot complain about not being able to read the display. It's vast.

When I wear the wrist unit on my arm, it reminds me of the Odyssey 2 I got for Christmas that one year when I really wanted the Atari 2600 like all my friends had. The strap is cheap-feeling rubber emblazoned with the AIM and MyTach logos. It's so Radio Shack.

After unboxing the unit, I hooked it up to my PC via its docking station and USB cable. All the hardware drivers and desktop software installed without incident. The lithium ion battery charged up quickly. It went from dead to 90% charged in about 10 minutes. The last 10% took another 10 minutes, but still, it charges fast.

Running with it

It's a tad heavy. Still, the display is easy to read, and it's accuracy impressed me. It does everything a running computer ought to do if it doesn't come with an integrated heart rate monitor. I found it easy to cycle through display modes as I ran. No complaints.

The Client Software

Behind the scenes, this software packs a lot of mathematical muscle. I read the documentation, and the first dozen or so pages discussed things like Fast Fourier Analysis, which would have been hard enough for my liberal-arts ass to read if the author's first language was English. Unfortunately, I guess all the big money was spent on the science and little spent on editing their documents or decent GUI design. The software is tricky to use. Or at least it's not intuitive. I mean, I am an incredibly experienced software user and tester. That's been part of my job for 10+ years. I can stumble my way through almost any software and "get it" quickly. This product, however, was hard for me to use. A less patient, less nerdy user would be trying to figure out the refund policy after 10 minutes.

Once installed, downloading your workout from the wrist unit to the PC is a reasonably simple matter. The trouble starts when you try to analyze the run. It's not immediately obvious what a given metric means or how to find what you want to analyze. Don't get me wrong, there are cool features. You just have to dick around with it for a while to figure out the vocabulary.

For example, after tinkering around for 20 minutes or so, I was able to make a one-dimensional heat map of my run in the GPS data viewer. I was able to see the fast and slow parts of my run as color gradients. It looked like a trippy caterpillar in a black void. It would have been handy to be able to view this squiggly line layered over an actual map. You can export your run to Google Earth [and I did and it was cool] but in the client software's GPS view, there is no integrated mapping.

I discovered you could manage a team of runners with this desktop software, and perhaps that is the software's intended use. Maybe single users aren't the target market for this product. Hmm.

Manipulating my data in this product is a bit more work than it ought to be. Again, a lot of the problem is figuring out the terminology, but another factor is bad GUI design. For example, they call a workout a "test". Also, I didn't know there was a way to do split analysis, so I had auto-lap set in the wrist unit to capture each mile's time. Bad idea. While I was able to easily analyze each mile, it took me a while to figure out how to combine those laps back into the whole workout and study it as a whole. Now I think I've lost the lap data. Confusing. If I had read and comprehended the wrist unit and client software documentation before using the tool for the first time, perhaps I would have had fewer headaches. But who does that?

---

The good:
* Cheaper than a Garmin 405 [$271 retail]
* Easy-to-read screen
* Seems to be very accurate
* GPS data exportable to Google Earth
* Unit might be a better tool for cyclists or hikers than runners

The bad:
* Hard-to-use client software
* No web interface [no push-button way to publish data online]
* No integration with Google Earth within the desktop software
* Poorly-translated, hard-to-follow documentation

The ugly:
* Cannot delete single workouts on the watch -- user can only wipe the whole memory
* Wrist unit is huge, ugly, and made of cheap-feeling plastic

The bottom line: Keep saving for a Garmin.

Greetings from 38°15'11" N, 85°45'43" W, Alt. 350.27 ft.

ORN: Ran 3 1/4 miles in 31'05" today. The weather was 48° and sunny. Couldn't ask for better weather this time of year. I ran heavily laden with gadgets. In addition to my usual menagerie, I ran with my shiny, new GPS, a MyTach Sport Trainer from AIM. I know, I had never heard of a MyTach either until I found myself in possession of one. [It had more to do with Fortuna than Santa Claus.] I'll post a review of it next week. My first impressions of it as a running accessory are mixed. I'm going to love using it for hiking and [possibly] geocaching.

I'm a little sore today from hitting the gym yesterday. I did 20 minutes on an elliptical, and then I did another 40 minutes or so of calisthenics. I focused on core strength exercises like crunches, pullups, and pushups; but I also did some squat presses that kicked my hamstrings' asses. I really felt it while running today. Anyway, I have been inspired by Runner Susan's Leg Torture sessions to add more weight training into my week in order to make my leg strength more balanced. I also need to do something about my upper body. I'd love to be free of my B-cup man-boobs and beer belly in 2009. In fact, I would like to cross the starting line of my race in April with about 10 fewer pounds of flab.

To that end, I am going to strive [along with Wifey's support] to get more fruits and vegetables in my diet. I figure if I pack myself tight with broccoli and apples, there won't be any room for White Castles and Whoppers, right? Right?

I like to (move it)^2

I'm taking today off because last night I did a zumba class with Wifey, and it kicked my ass. For those of you keeping score at home, that means that I have run and/or done an exercise class three days in a row. A few days ago, it was spinning; last night, zumba.

Given the choice, I prefer zumba. I got to dance all dorky, get my heart rate up, listen to some rockin' music, and work on my core a bit. It was win all the way around. At one point, my oxygen-starved mind drifted back back to my clubbin' days of the early 1990s, drinkin' and dancin' at this punk/GLBT/techno/artsy club on Main Street in Louisville whose name escapes me at the moment. [I wore an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.] I was an awful dancer back then, waving my hands in the air like I just didn't care, and I am an even worse dancer now, waving my flab in the air like I just don't care.

But I kept it together and survived the zumba class. It didn't hurt that there were three ultra-fit, rowdy, almost bawdy, female instructors -- two zaftig women, a blonde and a brunette, who looked like they could snap me in half, and a lithe redhead who appeared to be made of freckles and endurance. And Wifey was with me to help keep my drooling in check. Honestly though, I was too busy keeping my lungs and other organs from flying out my mouth to leer too much. It was a damn hard class.

Yes We Did

ORN: Came into work early and ran 3.0 miles in 30'49", a carbon-copy of yesterday's performance it seems. This, after a murderous spinning class last night that made my thighs scream.

I stayed up late, like many of you probably did, and watched Obama win the presidency. What a night. I'm old enough to remember a time, growing up as I did in the South, when such a thing -- a President of Color -- was unthinkable. I'm glad I lived to see it. Next, a D&D playing president!

Short post today because I am in a class all day, and I have actual work I need to get done before hand.

Go east, young nerd

ORN: Today, after a tough 20 minute pilates workout, I ran 3.0 miles in 31'47". Today, I ran east, rather than my usual west, along the River and got to get startled out of my wits by the Star of Jefferson's steam whistle.

I took it much easier today after yesterday's tough slog. Don't want to over do it with a race on Saturday. Besides, I've not been sleeping well lately; I'm wicked tired. I ask Lord Ganesha, lately appearing in Queens for one restful night without a vomiting dog, hungry child, nervous wife hearing things, or squeaky-wheel-running hamster.

Tomorrow, I will probably run two miles. Then if I do a warm up and cool down on race day, I ought to manage an even 12 miles for the week, which will be great.

179? How did that happen?

ORN: Today I sped through 3.0 miles in 30'07", which is remarkable considering I walked for 60 seconds after miles one and two. I felt strong and fast. I wonder whether the 20 minutes of pilates I did before hand made a difference?

As I ran along, I thought about training for the upcoming Derby Festival Marathon. A lot of bloggers I follow are either getting ready to run a marathon or are just now recovering from Chicago or Denver or whatever. I've gotten the bug. I'm really looking forward to training for my first 26.2. I thinking about how I am going to get all those miles in. I'll probably end up doing doubles during the week and getting up and stupid-30 in the morning on Saturdays like everyone else in the world.

In other news, I woke up this morning weighing 179 pounds without really trying. I haven't been below 180 in a long time.

Motrin IB should sponsor me

ORN: 1.65 miles in 17'21". This morning was lovely. A slender, crescent moon. Mild temperature. I felt great despite some sore feet. I blame the lightly cushioned NB 858s. Nevertheless, I did some fartleks.

Regarding my 100 push-up challenge, I am repeating week 5 because I skipped it last week. I did nothing. Consequently, I am a little off my game, push-up wise. Still, I surprised myself with how much strength I retained after a week. Week 5 is a bitch though. I made the mistake of doing them while My Beloved and I watched the first season DVD of Xena: Warrior Princess. She was all "Don't you need to go down farther? Seriously, all you are doing is bending your elbows a little bit." *sigh*

Last night, I also started doing sit-ups using the same program. Consequently, my "core" is sore today.

I'm done for the day!

ORN: 1.65 miles in a zippy 16:59. Since I have a lunch meeting today, I woke early and ran before work. It was a lovely morning, cool and peaceful. After shaking the sleep off and warming up, I felt fast and strong. As I feel every time I run early in the morning, I wonder why I don't run before work all the time. The answer, of course, is that I am too lazy most of the time.

I've also been keeping up with my push-up challenge. Last night, I did a total of 111 in 5 sets [27-20-20-17-27] while watching Toxic Avenger on the Roku.

No-title Tuesday!

ORN: 3.0 miles in 32:09. I took it nice and slow today, which was entirely called-for given the heat. It wasn't stupid-hot like it usually is around here in the summer, but it was not insignificant [81° with 39% humidity.]

I have this fitness thing going on using multiple channels. Last night, Little One and I swam at the pool for about an hour and a half. Most of that time, I was swimming around easily but staying in motion constantly. Then, I started that One Hundred Push-up challenge [see yesterday's post] and managed about 50 reps total [sets = 10/10/8/6/16].

I've been trying to watch what I eat too. All of this is in the hope that I can shed a few pounds, get faster at running, and look fantastic at the pool. Yes, I am that vain. There's also that vague goal of doing a triathlon rattling around in the back of my head. I need to get more fit for that too.

Pushing up daisies

ORN: 3.0 miles in 31:25, which, sad to say, is my best average pace since mid-May. I ran east instead of west on the Riverwalk and saw a ton of ducks. I finished the workout with three strides of approximately 50 meters each. They were slightly unpleasant, given the heat.

In case your only source of news is my blog [Loki help you], I ought to mention that George Carlin has died of a heart attack at the ripe old age of 71. I loved the guy and his mad wisdoms. There's this scene in Mel Brook's "History of the World, Part One," where Brooks is in Roman times, in line for unemployment benefits, and he lists his occupation to the clerk as "standup philosopher." That's what Carlin was. He spoke the unvarnished truth that court jesters have been allowed to speak for centuries. And, yes, he taught me how to curse with class. One of the first comedy albums I ever heard was his 1978 album Indecent Exposure [which we might have had on 8-track.] It was so rip-roaringly funny and mind-blowing, that I listened to it about a million times during my late-childhood/early-adolescence.

On the exercise tip, because I am a sucker for a well-designed website, training program, and challenge with t-shirts, I have decided to sign up for the Hundred Pushup Challenge. I signed up for a similar program back in the mid-1990s, but we called it boot camp. The idea is to gradually build up to 100 push-ups over the course of a few weeks. We used to do something similar in the military called "pyramids," and so this program makes sense to me since I've seen it work before. I've been working on push-ups anyway, doing 20-25 before bed each night. However, I have been inconsistent with it. With charts and milestones, I expect to be rockin' 100 push ups in no time.

Trying too hard

ORN: Ran 3.0 miles in 34:30 on a clear, 87° day [51% humidity]. This short jog was one of the hardest runs I've had in a while. The oppressive heat is kicking my ass, and it seemed like there was a headwind no matter which way I faced. I manage my hydration and salt as well as I can, though. I had a salty bowl of yakisoba as a late breakfast an hour and a half before the run; and then after it, I chugged down a glass of Gatorade. Of course during I drank lots of water. Still, my lungs feel like I am breathing in gravy, my knees ached the whole time, and my legs felt like they were encased in carbonite.

OBN: 16 miles today, eight each way to and from work. Also, 16 yesterday. This week, I've biked or taken the bus all five working days. My eco-smugness is quite high.

I've been doing a little reading up about this whole triathlon business. And when I say "a little reading" I mean that I've been obsessing on it more than I ought. It's only led to me wanting to spend money I don't have. I've been wringing my hands over my bike, which is a commuter model rather than a speedy road bike. What about a speedometer/odometer for my bike? Pedal clips? An aerobar? A tri-bag? The temptation to go hog wild on crap is sometimes overwhelming, but I've reeled it in for the moment.

I've been staring at my calender to find spots wherein I can jam a swim workout or two. But it's tough. I mean, I couldn't even be bothered to go swimming last night. Wifey and Little One were both out of the house, and I had several hours free after work. I could have easily gone to the YMCA, done 30 minutes in the pool, basked in the sauna, showered and changed clothes, quaffed a quick pint at the pub, and watched a couple "Welcome Back Kotter" reruns before the family was all back home. Alas, I chose to skip all that, and instead rested, ate, and watched "Kotter."

If I am going to try a Tri, I am going to have to get my act together. I am going to have to be very disciplined about time management. That, by itself, is intimidating and dissuades me. Running my targets is hard enough some weeks.

1. Phoenix City - Les Miserables
2. Last Dance - Donna Summer
3. Jimmy Jazz - The Clash
4. Kitten With a Whip - Big John Bates
5. Follow My Leader - The Loafers
6. Try Me - Bob Marley
7. A Continental Touch - My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult
8. Outsmarted - The Hives
9. Jane in the Jungle - The 5.6.7.8's
10. Put It To Me Straight - Reverend Horton Heat

Circus is in town

ORN: I biked to work today. Also, 4 miles in 43:41, which was damned slow considering how good I felt. My knees protested the first mile or so as the old joints got warmed up, but after that and despite the 83° heat and 42% humidity, I had the best run I've had in more than a week. I felt strong and alive. I also almost got my ass kicked by geese again. Did you know those things hiss? Two of those fat bastards hissed at me. I thought I was a goner.

I didn't run a step this weekend, but I kept busy. I did a fair bit of yard work, which I count as cross training, and some house work. And a whole lot of sitting on my ass. Little One and I also enjoyed the YMCA's new water park. She had a blast perfecting her new skill -- swimming under water. ["Daddy, watch this. Daddy, watch this. DADDY!"] I had a blast making sure other people's rude, horrible, oafish children didn't drown my precious snowflake.

The YMCA water park is one helluva place to people-watch and witness the spectrum of human fitness. There were the overweight people you see everywhere, from the merely flabby [like me] to spheroid. But then again there were the über-fit, scary people. I swear, one woman looked like a superhero action figure, sans boobs. I guess she was a body builder or triathlete or something. Seriously, girlfriend had bulky abdominal muscles. Her abdomen was convex because her abs were that frakkin' huge.

Also, Little One got to see her first dude with nipple rings. "Daddy," she whispered, "that man has ear rings on his...," and pointed to her chest. "Yes," I said, "yes, he does." It was a milestone for the baby book. This weekend proves to me that I need a camera phone like a big dog. This post would have rocked your world if I had pix to go with it.

BTW, "Secret March" by The Wet Secrets is my new favorite song to end a run to.

1. Why Can't I Be You? - The Cure
2. Mad Man - The Hives
3. Old Friendships - Operation Ivy
4. Here We Go Again - Operation Ivy
5. Coup De Ska - Beat Soup
6. Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley and The Wailers
7. Licking Stick-Licking Stick - James Brown
8. Don't Let's Start - They Might Be Giants
9. Too Much Pressure - The Selecter
10. Construction - Crimpshrine
11. Old School (circa 1991) - Foibles
12. Icky Thump - The White Stripes
13. Alter Mann - Rammstein
14. Boxing My Shadow - K'naan
15. Secret March - The Wet Secrets

How does DJ Nano keep bringing the rawk?

ORN: Four miles in 42:03. I biked to work today, so add 16 miles of cross training. Biking the eight miles to work took me about 40 minutes. I know that is slow by most standards [about 12 MPH on average]. But a) it's the best I can do with the luggage — work clothes and whatnot — I have to carry, b) that's about as quick as my car commute or a bus ride, and c) it's saving me $3 per day. Not much, but if I can do that every work day, I would save myself about $60 per month in fuel costs.

As you might have noticed, when I run, I like to rock out. DJ Nano spins the electrons, and I throw the goat down the street looking like I am having some kind of episode. But you might wonder how I manage to cram my voluminous music collection into a puny 4 GB Nano. Short answer: I don't. I let iTunes smart playlists do the work.

First off, I have a master playlist from which subordinate playlists are derived. It's like inheritance in object-oriented programming. Or life. Anyway, the main playlist is set up to select all tracks played less than 13 times [play count < 13] up to a limit of 3.8 GB. This setup allows a sliding window of tunes, if you will. Once a song is played the 13th time — an admittedly arbitrary number — it slides off the list, and one or more unsynchronized songs takes its place.

The beauty of it is that when a podcast is updated, like the CBC Radio 3 podcast, it automatically muscles its way onto DJ Nano's turntables, temporarily booting off a score or so songs. Then, when I delete the podcast, those songs [or others] move back on.

The downside of this plan is that it takes longer to synchronize the iPod. I guess this is because the playlist is slightly different each time. Conceivably, as many as a couple hundred songs could get shuffled on or off the playlist as it randomly selects 3.8 GB of music. But this isn't really a problem for me, because I never synch under any kind of deadline pressure. It's worth it to me to be guaranteed fresh tunes.

Regarding the "subclasses" of the master playlist, these are derived from this master playlist and filter for such things as highly-rated tracks, tracks I haven't heard in a few weeks, tracks of a certain genre, etc. iTunes is set to only synchronize DJ Nano with these specific playlists. I am good to go.

Sound off in the comments if you'd like more details on how to set this stuff up. I realize I am speaking in Greek to those who don't understand how to do smart playlists in iTunes. I didn't know this stuff until I started farting around with it. I'm no expert, but since I started tackling playlist management like any other data management problem, I've sorta gotten good at it.

1. No Fun - The Stooges
2. Every Dog Has Its Day - Flogging Molly
3. Stars & Stripes - KMFDM
4. Losers - The Cardigans
5. Long Long Ago - Cab Calloway and His Orchestra
6. Headhunter (Substanz T. mix) - Front 242
7. The Crowd - Operation Ivy
8. Eronel - Thelonious Monk
9. Guest List - Screeching Weasel
10. Sleep Now in the Fire - Rage Against the Machine
11. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz
12. California Man - Cheap Trick
13. Let's Submerge - X Ray Spex

Cross-train? When?

ORN: Five miles in 53:32. Strange that this was marginally faster than Tuesday's run because it felt bloody awful in comparison. I ran quite sluggishly, probably on account of biking seven eight miles to work this morning. I just wanted it to be over with, and eventually, it was.

It seems appropriate that today's "Take it and Run Thursday" theme over at the Runners' Lounge is cross-training. Today, for the first time in months, I rode my bike to work. It took me about 45 minutes, and it was lovely. Somebody in my office said that I am now the "office jock." >_<

Frankly, I am not big on cross-training. Like teeth-flossing [thanks Heather], I believe in it; I recognize its value; and I often think about how to incorporate more of it into my life. The thing is that I seldom have time to run, much less squeeze in biking or swimming or weight lifting. I swam once last week, and I rode my bike today. Those were anomalies, though. Just finding time for running is tough enough these days.

Right now, Wifey has a stress fracture on her foot, so I have more responsibilities around the house. [Not complaining; just saying.] What this means is that if a) I cannot run in the morning before work [yeah right] and b) if I cannot run during lunch [e.g., I had a lunch meeting yesterday] then c) I have to figure out how to squeeze it in after work. Well, after fetching groceries and prescriptions from Kroger, preparing dinner for the family, mowing the yard, going on a walk with Little One, giving Little One a bath, feeding Little One again, putting Little One to bed, and cleaning up the kitchen, all I had energy for was collapsing on the couch to watch a PBS special on FDR. Wherein, I ask you, could I have squeezed cross-training? [I've decided mowing totally counts.]

But in my head, I think that maybe this summer I will bike to work a couple — three? — times a week [14 mile round trip] and swim once a week or so, and call that my cross training plan.

Cross training makes me wet

ORN: [ ]

I swam for 30 minutes today at the YMCA, and holy guava juice, it was freakin' hard. I used to be a good swimmer, and I guess, in the sense that swimming is drowning avoidance with a vector, I am. But since my upper body has tapioca where muscles used to be, I am not a strong swimmer. In fact, after 10 minutes or so, I was huffing hard, my heart pounded like it never does when I run, and my arms and chest throbbed. I took it easy thereafter, taking breaks to catch my breath, and made it a nice even half-hour workout.

It turns out our YMCA has a swim instructor who will evaluate your form in a 30 minute coaching session. Cost is $10, so I figure I cannot lose if it helps me swim a little more efficiently. In any case, I gotta get my upper body in better shape.